


Does It Get Easier?

by FudgingPastry



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Character Death, References to Lore, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26828146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FudgingPastry/pseuds/FudgingPastry
Summary: Karroro upsets Slenoris and goes to talk to Valijoza about their argument, but ends up asking how he can help his friends deal with their trauma. He later goes and tries to help Slenoris.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another WoW fic starring Karroro! Main character/class list below (mentioned-only characters not listed):  
> Karroro, vulpera death knight  
> Nikkhon, Zandalari troll druid  
> Slenoris, blood elf demon hunter  
> Valijoza, troll monk

“You entitled little piece of shit!” Slenoris snarled at him, ripping her war glaive out of the ground. Karroro jumped back, his own swords appearing in his hands. “Going around talking like you know anything about any of us!”

“What the hell did I even say?” He growled back. Nikkhon had jumped to his feet when the shouting broke out. He held out his hands in a staying gesture, though he looked more likely to transform and bolt rather than break up any oncoming fight.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the whole interrupting thing you did when Moth was trying to tell you shit about shit you missed while you sat face down ass up in the sand like a scared little worm? You don’t get to override him when he’s signing at you!”

“I was asking for clarification! All I know about Teldrassil, about anything that’s happened to you guys is any shit you guys are willing to give. And I don’t know, you’re not the most talkative of the bunch, you know?” Karroro felt fit to burst. Slenoris’ anger was one he could really do without. Always angry, all the time, and recently lashing out at her friends. Even with his anger erupting forth, he could tell he had crossed some kind of line. Slenoris’ eyes flashed, her shape changing, hardening, growing. The demon inside her pressed through her flesh until she was taken over and it roared at him.

“You want talkative, you fuck? You want me to talk on the  _ shit _ I’ve seen, the  _ shit _ I’ve been through? You want talkative on stuff you don’t even know, don’t even have a fucking handle on? I don’t think you could handle the hellfire I’d rain down on you! You think you can even get your tiny ass brain to even fathom what it’s like to  **_watch them BURN???”_ **

Karroro faltered, his anger fizzling out in the face of the literal demon before him. He could feel the heat radiating from her, the literal fire inside her burning through the cracks in her skin. The guards around them had readied their weapons, but even they looked too scared to interfere. 

“Slenoris,” Nikkhon warned, hand outstretched. Moss and flowers and thorns were growing at his feet, ready to heal and defend, if needed. Slenoris’ gaze snapped to him, and he held it. Karroro could see the slight tremble in the druid’s hands, but he held her gaze all the same. After what felt like far too many minutes, Slenoris breathed in, and closed her eyes. Her form shrank, the demon retreating inside her. The ground at her feet was singed, any vegetation not grown by Nikkhon burned to a crisp. The guards relaxed their stances and went back to normal.

Slenoris opened her eyes, calmer. She held Nikkhon’s gaze a little while longer, then snatched up her things, and stalked away. Karroro watched her go, adrenaline burning in his veins. He breathed in a few more times and lowered his blades, confusion dawning on his face as her words finished processing.

“She… she wasn’t talking about Teldrassil, was she?” Karroro asked. Nikkhon tilted his head down at the vulpera, looking at him with a condescending side eye that left him feeling even more agitated.

“I wouldn’t be the one to ask,” he replied finally. His gaze shifted to the direction Slenoris stalked off in. “Though I’ve known her longer than you, I.” He pressed his lips together, expression unreadable from Karroro’s current position. “I wouldn’t be the one to ask,” he repeated. In a flurry of red and purple feathers, Nikkhon transformed into his lunarwing form. With a tilt of his beak, he gestured up to the highest point in Orgrimmar. Karroro followed his gaze, squinting against the oppressive midday sun. Was that…? He turned back to ask Nikkhon, but the druid was gone, flying away towards the portals. Figured.

Minutes later, Karroro dropped onto the tall rock structure, high above Orgrimmar. He ignored the urge to look down, focusing his gaze on his goal. He didn’t like being this high up, this close to the sun. It was windy up here; a realization that did not help his nerves. A strong enough wind could blow him over, armor and all, and he’d definitely not survive that fall. His gaze traveled to the figure sitting cross-legged, her face turned towards the sun. The wind flowed between them, shaking the shock of her red braids and all the feathers and beads in them. It reminded him of the willows he first saw in Pandaria. It was peaceful, sitting under those trees and, similarly, he found it peaceful up here. Away from the noise, the rush, the heat baked earth and the constant sand and dust in his mouth. He could see why she would come up here.

Valijoza exhaled, a gentle sigh of sound, after a few minutes of silence. She turned towards her company, offering him a gentle smile. “Did you come to meditate?” she asked, scooting over so he could sit next to her. Karroro straightened, then sat next to her.

“I came… to ask about something.”

Valijoza never looked at him when he spoke, something he was eternally grateful for. He didn’t like to look at faces when he spoke to people, preferring to stare off into middle distance. Valijoza didn’t demand he look at her, nor did she demand to know what his questions were when he started to hesitate. She simply waited him out. Valijoza the Light of Dawn. Valijoza the Patient. She once went by those titles, Zatyr told him one drunken night. He’d never known her to use titles of self-importance, of achievement. Nothing that called attention to herself, but something she liked still. Slenoris’ title, she holds onto that one viciously: Demonslayer Slenoris. A title she earned in her bloodlust. Demonslayer: the definition of the type of person Slenoris was. Karroro isn’t sure what type of person he is yet. He isn’t sure if he deserves the right to that. Not right now. Not after...

Karroro came to ask Valijoza about Slenoris, about what she meant by ‘you didn’t watch them burn!’. Why she called him entitled. Entitled, because he didn’t suffer trauma? That much was true. He didn’t, not like the others. Not like Slenoris, he guessed. He didn’t have trauma, nothing everyone else didn’t have. He killed people, sure, but so did everyone else. That was their way of life. Karroro  _ knew  _ that.

But, he realized as he tried to put his words together, that wasn’t what was weighing on his mind. He thought of Haziba, of the burns on his hands and the conversations he wasn’t ready for. He thought of Wilthius, of hearing him cry out in the night, calling “mother, mother, what gave you the right!” He thought of the weariness he sees in the eyes of his friends, of the fear on Moth’s face when he shot Sylvanas. The shouting matches between Umbre and Slenoris. The moments even Alivandis breaks down when he thinks no one is paying attention. He thought about all these things as he tried to put his words together. Valijoza waited. Patient. When the words came, he was surprised to hear how soft he spoke.

“Does it ever get easier?”

Valijoza didn’t have to ask what he meant, what he was talking about. She knew. She  _ knew. _

“No.”

Startled, Karroro’s gaze snapped towards her. She wasn’t looking at him. Her gaze was trained on the city below them. The expression on her face wasn’t one he knew her to wear. It was… sad. Like there was something weighing heavy on her too. He realized suddenly how little he knew about her. Strong, patient, kind Valijoza. Valijoza, who always wanted to help. Valijoza, who does everything in her power to help, even at the sacrifice of her own health. Valijoza, who decided to heal. Who stepped forward and told her comrades,  _ “I will hold your lives in my hands. I will protect you. I will keep you safe. You can trust me.”  _ Valijoza, who struggled at first, but learned quickly, as far as he saw. Valijoza who stood firm, even in the face of total annihilation. Valijoza, who even Slenoris, the strongest of them, deferred to. Slenoris trusted her and Valijoza trusted her too. Valijoza, whose resolve stands unbreakable.

“No?” he echoed, only now realizing how afraid of the answer he was.

“No,” she repeated softly, then continued. “You get smarter. You pick up on your own cues, learn how to catch yourself before you fall. It’s an exercise in hyperawareness. One misstep and you start to spiral. Having people around helps. Talking helps. Sometimes all you need is someone who will listen to you. But it doesn’t get easier. Not for a while. You can feel better, you may even heal from it, but that process is long. There will be times where you stumble and you feel like the whole world is crashing down around you. It hurts. When the people closest to you make mistakes or…” Valijoza paused, her usually calm face breaking into something more. It took too many moments before she found her words again. Karroro didn’t ask about the silence, about the way her face and her voice hardened.

“When people take advantage of you, whatever the reason is, it hurts. And it continues to hurt for a long time after.” Valijoze took a deep breath, as if steadying herself. Only now did she turn her head towards him. “Karroro, if there’s something on your mind, something that’s hurting you, know that you have friends here. There’s people here you can trust. There’s people here who will listen.”

“And if it’s not me? If it’s not me hurting?” He asked. He didn’t have trauma, not like the others. Not like the hurt he could see Valijoza had gone through. But…

“You’re worried about the others?” At Karroro’s nod, she beckoned he look at her.. Her eyes were wet and he twitched towards her, then restrained himself. She reached for his hand and squeezed gently. “Let them know that you’re there. Be a person who will listen to them. Be patient, even if they’re not patient with you in return. Be kind, even if they’re not kind with you in return. Don’t let your kindness be taken advantage of, but don’t lash out either. They’re trying their best. Remember that.”

Karroro sat with her for a while longer. He thought of Haziba, of the burns on his hands and the conversations he wasn’t ready for. He thought of Wilthius, of hearing him cry out in the night and how he clung to Kilotar and Irrtraz whenever they were near. He thought of Moth, of Alivandis, of Umbre and Slenoris both. He thought of Valijoza still sitting beside him, troubled over old hurts she kept quiet on. He thought of the weariness he saw ever growing in his friends’ eyes. He thought until he found his own resolve hardening. And when he thought all the thoughts he could think, he called his mount and flew off, determined. The wind blew past him, from the direction of where he left Valijoza. The wind carried a quiet sob on it and he closed his eyes. He promised himself. In an echo of the vulpera’s offer when they joined the Horde.

He would help. However he was needed. However he could. He would help it get easier.


	2. Chapter 2

_ "Does it get easier?" _

_ "No." _

Valijoza's words rang through his head, buzzing around like ravagers hunting for some Akunda's Bite to chew up. Karroro leaned over his mount as it nested on the cliffside. He stared out across the Great Sea as he thought. He thought about Slenoris, of her marred body and the fire burning in place of her eyes. What had she seen, in all her years? What had she experienced that Karroro would never understand? What did it feel like to have another soul inside you? She talked about it as of it were alive inside her. Did it speak to her? Curse her for its unlife? What did existing feel like to her when existing meant to be constantly burning alive?

_ “You think you can even get your tiny ass brain to even fathom what it’s like to watch them BURN???” _

Slenoris' words pierced him again like claws. She hadn't been talking about Teldrassil, he was sure of that now. He never asked Valijoza about it, nor had he made a move to ask anyone else. But he wondered now. Just how did Slenoris become a demon hunter? What pushed her to make such a dangerous choice? From how she acted, how she talked of other demon hunters, it  _ had _ been a choice. Not like the old death knights. Not even like him. He asked to be raised again, if they had need of him. He consented to continuing the fight he had been called to. Even if she chose to become a demon hunter, had Slenoris consented to what had been thrust upon her?

Karroro didn't know.

And he sure wasn't going to get that answer by staring off into the distance. He urged his mount into flight. He searched for Slenoris, finding her quickly at the training dummies above the gate to the Valley of Honor. He pulled his mount into a hover, suddenly realizing that maybe she didn't want to talk. She had stormed off on him and he didn't know her to talk about feelings easily. He thought of the fights she had with Umbre and Valijoza instead of talking things out. Karroro's stomach dropped and started to turn away.

"You want something?" Slenoris growled. Her demonic form smashed the dummy, pieces splintering off in chunks.

"Uh," came Karroro's reply, unease radiating off him in waves. Slenoris turned towards him, her burning eyes pinning him to the spot. He leaned on his mount, desperately going for casual. "You planning to leave some dummy for the rest of us?" He nodded at the other training dummy, the one currently looking more like a charred skeleton standing up with sheer will. It reminded him briefly of Wilthius.

Slenoris moved in his peripheral and his gaze hyperfocused on her again. Her demon had retreated inside her, though the mask now covering her face left him feeling even more on edge. She gestured at the other dummy with a glaive, somewhat singed from proximity to her attacks. Whatever the hell they made training dummies out of, Karroro would never know and didn't want to understand. He hopped off his mount and unsheathed his blades.

For a while, they went at their respective dummies, silent. All of Slenoris' attention was focused on her training. Karroro made sure to stay out of her way. He fell into a rhythm, relaxing a touch. It felt good to train next to someone, even if that person's fury had been your fault. The sun had passed over their backs, the red rays threatening to blind him, when Slenoris took a step back. She was panting, sweat soaked and streaked with dust and char. Karroro was not much better, open mouth and panting. His ears flared out in an attempt to release the excess heat. Gods, he was thirsty. Even the ice in his veins could do little to cool him down after hours training with Slenoris.

"I'm not sorry," she said, putting away her glaives. She kept her eyes on him, like she expected him to protest or disagree with her.

"I didn't expect you to be," he said as he sheathed his swords. He rolled his shoulders, wincing at the ache in his body. Shit, how long had they trained for? He looked up at Slenoris and found a look that spoke of slight surprise. He held his hands out in a staying gesture. "I didn't come here to apologize or to hear one from you."

She crossed her arms. "Don't think I believe that you came here just to train." Karroro shuffled his feet, but he didn't know how to answer that one. Slenoris didn't give him a chance, continuing with a quick gesture of her hand. If he wasn't already analyzing her looks in case he needed to get away from her quickly (you never knew when a situation might turn sour), he'd read it as dismissive. Maybe a little frustrated. "If you haven't noticed, I don't  _ do _ feelings." Definitely frustrated then.

Slenoris sighed, her burning gaze drifting down towards the dummies. She stared at them for a moment before speaking again. "But… this was nice."

This time, Karroro was the one surprised. He had never heard Slenoris' voice go that soft, that…  _ grateful _ . She seemed to realize herself and she straightened and her gaze slid back to him. She looked like she was about to say more when a loud growl came from her stomach. Her gaze snapped to the traitorous noise, then back up at Karroro when he burst out laughing. 

"What? Didn't you eat enough souls from the dummies?" He laughed, nearly keeling over from the force of it.

Slenoris smiled a lopsided grin and stuck her thumb out at the Valley of Honor. "I'm starving. Wanna get a bite to eat? I'm paying."

"You're a fucking life saver," he said. While he didn't need to eat to stay alive, the energy it provided might help recover from such a hard workout. She grinned and jumped down without a word. "Cheater," he hissed as he jumped on his mount. He beat her to the Wyvern's Tail, but just barely. She had a head start, gliding down before nearly dropping on his head.

"I don't even want to know where a dummy gets a soul from. I've dealt with enough bullshit. I don't need that on my plate too,” she said as she folded her wings behind her.

"Amen."

Hours later, as Karroro watched Slenoris chatting rapidly with Umbre and Zulraija, drunk as hell and feeling sleep pull at his eyes, he remembered Valijoza's words again.

_ "Does it get easier?" _

_ "No." _

But one day. Maybe one day. It will.


End file.
